Dating relationships infidelity updating rmote helper on imac
Intellectually, I really believe that overcoming jealousy and accepting that you can't hold ownership over another person is one of the most enlightened things you can do.Unfortunately, I can't — no matter how hard I try — reconcile that with the overwhelming emotional reaction I have to even the very idea of being cheated on (much less the actual experience of it).Keep in mind, though, that this study only examined heterosexual marriages.A more recent study, out this year, found that over 50% of both men and women had committed infidelity at some point — and this study surveyed gay men and lesbian women in addition to heterosexual men and women.
In a time with so many ways to cheat, our concept of infidelity is often reverse-engineered; we arrive at our definitions based on what, subjectively, we believe would hurt us.
So, I ask my partner never to cheat again — and I will ask this of anyone else I am with in the future, too. Some people could never be with a person who wasted water or hadn't read Proust; I can't be with someone who doesn't give our relationship a special priority — one that is not matched or even mimicked by something on the side.
In return, it's my responsibility to curb my jealousy when it is unwarranted, and to accept that this agreement is about mutual trust, not about complete ownership or snooping on each other's emails.
Maybe I should have been progressive and open-minded enough to remain unfazed, uninsulted, and unbroken.
But, ultimately, at this stage of my life, I do not have that choice, or that power.